


Blood isn't green (Unless you're her.)

by Kikara Nixale (moonlightMadness)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Reverse Reverse Petstuck, Species Swap, WIP, etc - Freeform, um....
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-04
Updated: 2014-02-04
Packaged: 2018-01-11 03:29:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1168121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlightMadness/pseuds/Kikara%20Nixale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spades Slick has far retired from any gang activity. It got a bit too hectic after some incidents involving a past lover. So when he finds a rare blooded mutant troll in the middle of his backyard while his children played tag, how far will he go to find out who, what, and why this happened. Plus, he want's her glasses back as well.</p>
<p>(Cough,WIP will don't know how long it takes for an update.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blood isn't green (Unless you're her.)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first try at a reverse pet stuck! Also, please comment about any grammatical errors or typos please!

Your name is SPADES SLICK, and you are really questioning the safety of this game. 

Currently you were taking stock of the WEAPONRY that you collected as the PRIZE for the winners. Each one was meticulously taped, bagged, and labeled on your bed, placed from lowest to highest. Putting your favorite knife on the table, you twisted your neck around slightly to examine the wooden door of your room. It was locked tight, with a chair propped against the handle to keep out unwanted people to run in. 

“Spades, I’ve found ten of them.” Your walkie-talkie buzzed from your waist. You grabbed the little black box and held it to your mouth before pausing. 

“Ten? Who’s missing?” You ask as you turned your head back around to check the-

“OH FUCK.” You hear through the static, followed by screams and shouts of ten voices over lapping each other. You stare at the now silent walkie-talkie before you hear a gentle voice from the speaker. 

“Honey, I may need some help.” Your wife said quietly, and you heard her stuffing bullets into her gun. Sighing, you stretch your arm out to grab your knife, but your fingers don’t feel the familiar cold metal of the blade. Turning around, you find that a weapon was missing. The silver, clawed gloves were now missing, and a bag that contained eight eight-sided dice was now open and empty. 

You stared at the bed for the longest time, shocked and confused as to how they managed to grab the two, but you simply turn back around to check the door. The chair is still propped against the door, and the lock was still in place. Your walkie talkie buzzed again, this time you hear children shouting victoriously from the speaker.

“Alright team! We have captured all but one! Now, Dad keeps a hidden staircase in the bathroom, and since he blocked the door, we can go in through-“

“YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!” You shout into the microphone, listening to the thousands of shouts and gasps. There was a loud thud coming from outside, then everything went silent. Sighing, you drag a hand through your mop of hair and take a rifle from the wall. Putting a magazine on, you kick away the chair and begin to stomp your way downstairs, an evil grin spreading on your face. You walk past the large kitchen and into the backyard, where you find a single boy standing there, holding a shot gun. His glasses were slowly sliding down his nose, and his purple scarf was wrapped around his mouth like a mask. 

“PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR, SLICK!” He shouts, holding up his gun confidentially. You do the same with your rifle, grinning happily.

“So should you, Mr. Dualscar.” You say coldly, walking closer to the boy. He held his gun up angrily and glared at you until your barrel was pointed against his forehead. His glasses clattered onto the ground, and Dualscar flinched. Satisfied, you put your finger onto the trigger. 

“Sorry about this, sir.” You heard as a fist collides with your neck. God dammit. 

 

When you finally come to, you find yourself tied to one of your office chairs with colorful cloth that felt surprisingly smooth. It was also tied around your neck, and you felt the funky stitching on the back of the cloth. Slowly, you shuffle around a bit before you see the rest of the Midnight Crew and Ms. Paint tied to their own separate chairs. They all were randomly chatting to each other before you cough. The first one to look up is Clubs Deuce, who immediately opens his mouth to speak. 

“Boss, boss! What do ya think about them? They’re pretty smart, right?” He asked eagerly. Club’s happy demeanor made you smile a bit, and then you looked around. The room was a light shade of purple, and the floor was a shiny marble. Posters of terrible movies were hung along the wall, and a computer with guides to coding and programming was hidden under a desk.   
“WE WON WE WON!” Victorious chants were ringing happily from the hallway outside, and the door burst open to reveal your son leading his other eleven friends through, each holding their respective weapons and a slice of chocolate cake.   
Karkat, your son, was stomping his feet triumphantly, holding his sickles up in the air and waving them together. Next came Aradia, Diamond Droog’s daughter, who was curling and uncurling her bull whip in hand. She was walking happily behind Karkat, eating her cake quickly to make sure she didn’t drop it. Tavros soon followed, shyly grinning as Hearts Boxcar watched him, a proud look in his eyes. The boy was dragging his lance on the ground, not even bothering to lift it as he ate his cake. Nepeta soon followed, claws unsheathed and poking her cake curiously before stabbing it and tossing it into her mouth. Kanaya strolled in, head held high and chainsaw propped on her waist. You shot a glance at your wife, who shrugged and shot the look back at you. ‘Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to give your kids these.’ You thought as you watched Terezi stumbled in, her cane tapping the floor gently, all the while sniffing her cake greedily. Vriska stomped into the room, tossing her dice into the air, balancing the cake upon her head with a smirk. There was a quiet pant, and in came Equius, who dabbed his forehead with a towel, cake in his hand. Gamzee soon stumbled in, drinking his faygo laced drink from a cup and not even bothering with the cake smeared all over his face. Eridan and Feferi waltzed in, holding a rifle and trident respectively. Once they all filed in, Terezi scuttled forward, handing Tavros her cake as she put down a stack of books. She clambers her way atop, and then looked in your general direction.   
“Order in the court!” She shouted. Immediately, the room fell silent, and “Neophyte” nodded before continuing.   
“We gather here today in order to judge the notorious Midnight Crew for attempting to over take the Hivebent team!” She sneered, which was followed by jeers from the twelve children. You shook your head in amusement, listening as the girl began to give your gang the death penalty.   
“I hear by sentence the Midnight Crew GUILTY ON THE FIRST DEGREE OF LARCENY AND SUCKING AT THE GAME!” Terezi shouted, her voice rising above the shouts and cheers of The Hivebent. You snorted quietly before feeling your binds slowly loosen. Slender hands tugged at the knots until Kanaya pocketed the cloth, a satisfied grin on her smug face. 

Your kid’s friends all shuffled back out of the room, each one preparing themselves for their own separate game of “Robbers.” Ms. Paint grinned at you as she stood up, rubbing her wrists gently. 

“I told you the kids were smart.” She said, the smug look your daughter had minutes ago now on her white skin. Her blonde hair hung over her eyes, and happily, you brush them away to look at her pristine, blue eyes. 

“Yeah yeah. Now let’s hurry and go so that they won’t eat the rest of the cake.”

 

Taking a deep breath, you take up as much air as you can and release it out of your mouth in a heavy sigh while the kids began sorting themselves out into teams of two, with six players each. Karkat declared himself of team red, and Equius became leader of team blue. 

“You want some cake, Dad?” Karkat shouted out, holding out the remains out his crumbling chocolate cake. A large smudge was on his cheek, and Kanaya took out a hankerchief and began to harshly wipe it away. You watched the scene in amusement before strolling over the lawn to grab the plate. 

“Kanaya, darling, leave your brother alone.” You say, gently rubbing her hair with a smirk. Kanaya grins back at you and clambers off of her younger brother’s back while Karkat flails a bit before coughing and regaining his composure. You hear the familiar chuckle of Terezi, and Karkat begins his usual childish insults.   
Settling back down into your chair with a plate of cake, you hear your brothers quietly snicker at your softness. You didn’t move at all, instead you begin to eat away at the remains of your cake. Besides, your wife was slowly sneaking behind them with a large bucket of ice. There was a loud rumble, followed by the sounds of shouts and feminine laughing. 

“Oh my god, I can’t believe you guys couldn’t hear me!” Marie Paint laughed, bending over to gasp and wheeze as your brothers began to furiously shake themselves clean. You chuckle darkly as Draco began swearing at Marie, who continuously mocked him since they would never do anything to her. Boxer was already changing out of coat, not even complaining, while Duke simply laughed along with her. 

“Marie, I swear to god I’m gonna-”

“DAD!!!!!”  
“MR.VANTAS!!!!!!!!”

Everyone shot up, and you throw the cake to the ground with a splat. You quickly began running over towards the sound of Kanaya’s voice, your legs began moving swiftly, jumping over scattered weapons and skidding to a halt just behind your daughter. She was kneeling in front of a bush, her hands scraping against the brambles to try and find something beneath. Your breath was ragged and heavy, but you kneel next to her anyways, taking out a knife and cutting out the rest. Behind you, thundering footsteps of eleven other kids and five adults came closer to you, and you tear away the final branch to see a curled up ball of gray. 

“Dad, what is that?” Karkat asked timidly, pushing his way through the crowd. You shrugged your shoulders and reached out to move it away, but a small whimper made you recoil. A quiet whine came from the ball, and it began to slowly turn. 

It was a troll, with sickly gray skin and beads of pale green sweat coming from its forehead. Small cuts were all over the cheeks and eyelids, green droplets trickling down a trembling face. Her body was covered in nothing but a dirt caked shirt that was too large for even you, and her padded feet curled into a lopsided ball, with thousands of scars and thorns covering the pads. On her head sat two odd horns that looked a bit like dog ears, around the base was several messy cuts and stitches, with one odd splotch that looked eerily like a burn mark. 

“Oh… dear.” You mutter. The thing slowly shifted again, causing a lot of the kids to shuffle backwards except for Karkat, who forced his way towards the troll. Your hand shoots out to grab him.

“Karkat stay away from that! It could bite your face off!” You hear Marie shout, attempting to rush to Karkat without stumbling over the different bobbing heads. You were close enough though, but Karkat gave you a firm grouchy face before crawling towards the thing. 

“Dad, I think she’s hurt.” He says aloud, sticking his hands under the troll’s back in an attempt to lift ‘her’ from the ditch. You reach forward again to grab Karkat’s collar, but a harsh bump from who you assumed was Nepeta forced you back. You sigh and decide Karkat to learn his lesson the hard way. 

“Yo, Equius, I need some help.” Karkat grunts, giving another worthless pull. Equius eagerly shoots up to complete the mission, and, joining Karkat’s side, slides his own hands beneath the back, gripping onto the shirt. Soon, all the other kids, except for Terezi since she couldn’t exactly tell where to grab, joined their leaders, heaving the troll from the ditch and into open grass. 

You couldn’t tell whether to be proud of the kids or be fire blazing angry. On one side, your son has made friends with culturally diverse kids and united them together so much that when he does one thing to help a single person, they all join together. But your son probably just saved a deadly pamper pet that could kill you all within a single blow. 

Either way, you were proud. 

You approached the young troll and quickly pull off your jacket, shaking out any hidden knives so you wouldn’t accidentally stab the now called her, and you kneel down into the ground, ignoring the dripping blood that slowly started to pool into the grass. You scoop her up into the jacket, holding her close to your chest. Her breathing came out in short, panting gasps, but all she did was squirm and open a single eye a bit. They were the prettiest shade of green.


End file.
